i've been wading in the velvet sea
2004-04-12 & 2:05 a.m.

can we fall on each other and say feed me chocolate or this is my silent appeal or may we transition ourselves into fruit salad? we're never sure what we mean by malleability but i'm thinking it has something to do with seeing the sunrise in a different town state country or maybe just flying to a city to smell the mangoes. can we shower in blue glitter and chocolate mousse and say we will never stop visiting each other even if there is someone else's floss on the bathroom sink? perhaps we should all fall asleep on everyone's shoulders for a thousand years and get the first good night's sleep we've ever had.

it all seems so heavy sometimes: the air, the blueness, the everything. i wish the ocean was closer. if someone asks you something, are they really asking you why do you eat so fast and why do you not like milk and why are you smoking more and why do you sleep on the furtherst corner of the bed and why do you not love me.

sometimes i want to answer and say i want my life to be disheveled in the wind; i want to smell like wild mint; i want to have big grass stains and too many holes in my jeans and not enough cough drops when i need them.

and as for the rest, well, let it smell like peonies.